Lanyon Mackay Avery

It's not that I don't like Christmas, I do - all the eating, all the lazing about, it's nice. I am well and truly finished by the end of the day, though. One day is quite enough to spend with family. Back to work today, bank holiday be damned.

Did those people stick their fingers in their ears and sing lalala when they were taught about werewolves at school?

I'm rather looking forward to covering Muggle Studies lessons for Alecto. It is not often I get a captive audience to talk about muggles. Of course, I shall miss my experiments, but perhaps I will be able to bring a couple in to show the children. I have some very sturdy cages.

I got arrested by a muggle policeman today.

Private to Friends and DE who won't rat him out to Voldemort
Can I volunteer to be as far away as possible?

Oh, I love a good party! It seems like such a long time since I went out. My wife said she would keep an eye on my drinking this time, but unfortunately she has come down with a migraine and won't be coming, so I suppose I will just have to get drunk. If I wear shoes that are difficult to take off, maybe I won't forget them this time.

Muggles are protesting the price of petrol (petrol is one of their many poor substitutes for magic). It's more than a little funny. They are so dependent on things that are limited. What must it be like to have such limited means and vision, to live in such a limited world? I suppose they don't know any different. I think the International Statute of Secrecy is mostly for their benefit - if they knew how inferior they are, surely they would go insane.

Death Eaters
It's amazing how easy people are to kill when they're not important. I should fight people's mothers more often.

Did you see in the paper? It's been confirmed that the recent attack on Hanglehampstead was the work of The Order of the Phoenix. Apparently they believed I was hiding there, and so great is their desire for the destruction of this government that they willingly sacrificed an entire village of the muggles they profess to fight for. Now, it is common knowledge that I love muggles. I work with muggles and truly believe we can learn a lot from them, but I would never hide in a village of muggles. In my love, I would not want to endanger their safety in such a way.

Order of the Phoenix, your acts of terrorism are as misguided as your cause. Cease hostilities before more innocent lives are lost.

Death Eaters
Really, stinging hexes and injuries that leave me bed-bound were bad enough. I really did not need the sodding cruciatus on top of all of that. It wasn't anything to do with me.

Walden
Are you thinking of putting your son forward for the Dark Lord's service?

Keagan and Armand
Are you thinking of putting your son forward for the Dark Lord's service?

Luciu

I think I need to stop drinking.

Taking inspiration from that powerful but somewhat farcical muggle leader, the Pope, would anybody like to join me in a day of repentance?

I'm sorry I left the toilet seat up that one time. And those other times.
I'm sorry I tricked Amycus into going to Botsw- no, actually, that was pretty funny.
I'm sorry I did not have faith that the Dark Lord would return.
I'm sorry I claimed Mulciber put me under the imperius curse to escape prison. You were already convicted mate, to be fair.
I'm sorry I didn't stop drinking that night I left my shoes at Malfoy's house.
I'm sorry my darling wife has to listen to me snore.
I'm sorry for all the times I've been late because I was reading and forgot the time.
I'm sorry I missed my son's first steps, first word, and the first time he used the potty.
I'm sorry I'm so handsome. It must make it difficult to be around me.

p.s. Most of that... I'm not really sorry for. Just as I bet the Pope isn't really sorry for the Inquisition. Muggles are rather like us in some ways.

I'm starting to think that Gringotts is more trouble than it's worth. Sorry, Keagan, but can't we have a human bank, that isn't subject to fires and bombs and attacks and strikes?

The end of a millenium!

Or not. It's not actually till next year. The END of 2000 marks 2000 years since the Common Era began. And the common era is only a rough (and probably inaccurate) approximation of the birth of Jesus Christ, who most of us don't particularly care about anyway.

But it will be nice to be in the year 2000. It's a good number. And it looks like enough people think it's the end of the millenium to make the parties bigger. What is everybody doing?

If someone had asked you twenty years ago where you would be today, would you ever have envisaged it turning out quite like this?

I've not really had time to think about it much yet, but today I made the invitations for the party on Saturday and I went and bought some decorations. I know, I know, you can make your own, but it's more time-consuming that way and never a task I've particularly enjoyed. I have never understood the female's obsession with shopping in general, but when shopping for a particular event, well, it stretches out the fun of the event just that little bit further back in time.

And all this time we were watching Botswana and Portugal.

Experimental group - 3.9
Control group - 3.2
Placebo - 3.4

Not significant. Damn it.

Death Eaters

Now that Portugal is semi-sorted, the Dark Lord has given me clearance to make my case against Botswana. I'm drawing up a report of my visit there, but I need some corroboration. Would anyone like to go there for a week, just so they can say that they have and confirm my impression on record? It's a decent enough place to visit and you wouldn't have to actually do anything.

And yes, if nobody volunteers then I'm sure the Dark Lord will pick someone.